How to Find the Right Family Solicitor (From Someone Who's Been Through It)

Please note: this guide is general information for England & Wales, not legal advice. Every family's situation is different, for advice on yours, speak to a family solicitor or contact Citizens Advice.

Go Local

The first thing I'd suggest when looking for a family solicitor is to find one near you. I got the most out of my time with my solicitor when we met face-to-face at their office, not over the phone. There's something about sitting across a desk from someone, reading their body language and having a proper conversation that a phone call just doesn't replicate, especially when you're discussing something as personal as your family.

Check They're a Member of Resolution

Once you've found someone local, the next thing to check is whether they're a member of Resolution. If they're not, I'd suggest you keep looking.

Resolution is a community of family law professionals who are committed to handling cases in a non-confrontational way. That might sound like a nice-to-have, but trust me, it's not. It's essential.

I can tell you from first-hand experience (my ex-wife's solicitor was not a member) that a confrontational approach leads to:

• More stress, in what is already one of the most stressful periods of your life
• Higher costs, because the process drags on longer than it needs to
• Court hearings, which could often have been avoided entirely
• Worse outcomes for the children, who should always be the priority

You want a solicitor who will absolutely stand up for your case when needed, but who will seek to resolve things calmly, with your (and your children's) best interests at heart, not their billing target.

How do I arrange an initial consultation with a family solicitor?

You arrange one the same way you'd book any professional appointment: shortlist local firms who handle family law, confirm they're a Resolution member, then contact them directly by phone or through their website enquiry form to ask for an initial consultation. Most firms can get you booked in within a few days.

The steps I'd actually follow, in order:

1. Shortlist two or three local firms. Search for family solicitors in your area and check their website confirms family law as a core service, not a side offering.
2. Check Resolution membership. Look them up at resolution.org.uk before you call. This is worth doing before anything else, for the reasons above.
3. Contact them directly. A phone call gets you a faster, more human answer than an enquiry form, but either works. Ask for an initial consultation.
4. Ask upfront whether the first consultation is free or fixed-fee. Many family solicitors offer a free or low-cost initial consultation (often 30 to 60 minutes), but this varies firm to firm, so ask before you book rather than assuming.
5. Ask how long the consultation will run, so you know how much ground you can realistically cover and aren't cut short mid-explanation.
6. Bring a short written timeline before you go: key dates, what's already been agreed or disputed, and what outcome you're hoping for. It saves you paying to explain the background twice.
7. Ask about costs while you're in the room: their hourly rate, roughly what your situation might cost overall, and whether fixed fees are available for any part of the process.

That first consultation is doing two jobs at once. You're finding out whether this firm can help you, and they're deciding whether to take you on. Treat it as a two-way interview, not an audition.

Book an Initial Meeting

Once you've found someone who fits the bill, local and a Resolution member, arrange an initial meeting. Most solicitors offer a first consultation, and it serves two purposes:

• For you: lay out your goals, give a history of your relationship with your ex-partner and your children, and explain what outcome you're hoping for.
• For the solicitor: demonstrate their attitude and approach to cases like yours.

Pay close attention to that second point. The way a solicitor talks to you in that first meeting tells you a lot about how they'll handle your case.

What a Good Solicitor Sounds Like

One of the first things my solicitor said to me was: "Try and resolve as much of this as possible between yourselves."

He said this purely out of care. My case wasn't complex, there were no safeguarding concerns, the financial side looked straightforward. It should have been relatively simple to resolve without racking up huge legal fees on either side.

That's the kind of solicitor you want. Someone who's honest with you about what actually needs legal involvement and what doesn't.

What a Bad One Looks Like

When I told my ex-wife what my solicitor had said, she completely disagreed. Her solicitor had told her not to speak to me about any of the details of our divorce at all, every single communication should go through solicitors.

Think about what that means in practice:

• Every message, question or proposal goes through two solicitors instead of a conversation between two adults
• Every exchange costs money, on both sides
• The entire process slows to a crawl

Throughout the child arrangement process, her solicitor fought every proposal, suggestion, plan and schedule we sent them. Every single one. That's not advocating for a client, that's running up a bill.

If it does end up going to court despite your best efforts, it helps to know the shape of what's coming. Our family court process hub walks through every hearing from the FHDRA through to a DRA and the final hearing, so you're not going in blind.

The Quick Checklist

• Local, close enough for face-to-face meetings
• Resolution member, non-negotiable; check at resolution.org.uk
• First meeting attitude, do they encourage you to resolve things amicably where possible, or do they push everything through formal channels?
• Honest about costs, a good solicitor will tell you when something doesn't need their involvement, and be upfront about consultation fees before you book
• Child-focused, every decision should come back to what's best for the children