What happens at the FHDRA — the first family court hearing

If you have applied to court about child arrangements (or been served with an application), the first court date is usually the FHDRA — First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment. Knowing what it is (and is not) takes away most of the fear.

How you got here: the route to a FHDRA

• MIAM first. Before applying, the applicant normally has to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, unless an exemption applies (for example, domestic abuse). This isn't mediation itself — it's a short meeting each party attends individually with a mediator, to assess suitability and explain what mediation involves. Once both parties have completed their MIAM, mediation proper is booked in.
• Mediation comes in three flavours, and it's worth knowing which one you'll get before you go in:
  • Face-to-face mediation — you and the other party are in the same room with the mediator, working through the issues together.
  • Shuttle mediation — you and the other party stay in separate rooms (physical or virtual), with the mediator relaying between the two. This is the option I went for. Keeping us apart cut out a lot of the opportunity for conflict during the session, which made it easier to actually focus on the issues rather than the argument.
  • Legally guided mediation — a specialised setup where each party's legal representative is present in the room, helping guide their client and the direction of the conversation.
• The C100 form starts the case, with a court fee (roughly £250 — check gov.uk for the current amount).
• CAFCASS gets involved. Before the hearing, the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service carries out safeguarding checks — a phone call with each parent, plus police and social services checks — and sends the court a safeguarding letter. Be honest and child-focused in that call; it shapes the court's early view.

What the FHDRA is for

The clue is in the name: dispute resolution. The court's first job is to work out what you actually disagree about and whether agreement is possible — not to run a trial. No evidence is heard, no witnesses are called, and the judge will not decide who is right.

What happens on the day

• Expect security checks on the way in, and waiting around — listings are rarely on time. Bring something to read and any notes you have made.
• Arrive at least an hour early. That time before the hearing is set aside for you, the other party and your solicitors to try to narrow down or resolve the sticking points before you're even in front of the court. You might come out of that hour with no agreement, a partial agreement, or occasionally a full one.
• Before you go in, a CAFCASS officer or court legal adviser may speak to both parents (separately if needed) to explore where agreement might be found.
• Who's in the room. In my case it was me and my solicitor, my ex-wife and her solicitor, a panel of three magistrates, and a court legal advisor — though you may instead be in front of a single district judge. It is a courtroom, but a procedural one: expect discussion, not drama.
• The hearing itself is usually short — often 30–60 minutes. Once it starts, the applicant's solicitor briefs the court on what's actually in dispute, what's already been agreed, and what the possible next steps look like.
• If you have a solicitor or barrister they speak for you; if you are representing yourself, the judge will make sure you get your say. Speak to the judge, keep it factual, keep it about the children.
• Next steps typically go one of two ways: either both parties are sent back to mediation for a further attempt, with a second FHDRA held afterwards if that doesn't resolve things, or it's clear enough that agreement isn't realistic that the court lists a Final Decision Hearing straight away.
• My own case went to a second FHDRA. We reached a small partial agreement at the first hearing, so the court sent us back to mediation. When mediation didn't resolve the rest, we had a second FHDRA — same format, same hour of negotiating beforehand — which produced another small partial agreement but ultimately still ended in a Final Decision Hearing.
• The Court Order. Once a hearing ends, the court legal advisor or one of the solicitors drafts a Court Order reflecting whatever's been agreed. Both parties have to agree the draft before it's sealed by the court.
• CAFCASS at the first FHDRA. CAFCASS will usually be in attendance at your first FHDRA specifically. They're there to decide whether they need to stay involved in the case going forward, or whether they're satisfied there are no welfare or safeguarding concerns and can step back — based on the report they've prepared from their phone calls with each parent.

The possible outcomes

• Full agreement — the court can turn it into a consent order there and then, and the case ends.
• Partial agreement — the court may order interim arrangements (what happens until the next hearing) and set directions for the rest.
• No agreement — the court sets directions: commonly a Section 7 report (CAFCASS investigates and recommends), witness statements, or a fact-finding hearing if there are disputed allegations of harm. A further hearing — usually a Dispute Resolution Appointment (DRA) — is listed, typically months later.

How to prepare well

• Know what you are asking for. Bring a clear, realistic proposal for where the children live and how time is shared — written down, with a fallback position you could live with.
• Be the reasonable one in the room. Courts notice which parent promotes the child's relationship with the other parent. The presumption (where safe) is that involvement of both parents benefits the child.
• Bring a clear record. A tidy, dated log of the current arrangements, handovers and any missed contact is worth far more than an emotional account. Stick to facts and dates.
• Look after yourself. Eat, arrive early, and take someone with you for the waiting room if you can (they usually cannot come into the hearing unless the court allows a McKenzie Friend).

Key takeaways

• The FHDRA is about narrowing disagreement, not judging evidence.
• The CAFCASS safeguarding letter is prepared before the hearing — engage with the phone call seriously.
• Arrive with a written, realistic proposal and a factual record of arrangements so far.
• Many cases settle at or soon after the FHDRA — being organised and reasonable genuinely moves the odds.